In our last post, we explored what “deserving” even means. We questioned it. I mean that I asked you some specific questions about your ideas (and our ideas as a culture) about the whole notion of deserving.
I also led a telephone seminar exploring deserving. But I didn’t admit on the seminar why I am exploring, probing and questioning “deserving” as an idea.
I am probing, exploring and questioning”because the whole notion of “deserving” is seriously problematic.
I don’t think deserving exists.
We made it up. And we didn’t realize what we were doing when we made it up.
Deserving = the possibility of not deserving: if someone is deserving for a reason we can name, someone else is not deserving for that same reason. It’s a gatekeeper, a warrant, a placeholder for thinking badly or well of ourselves and others based on how much money or resources we have or want.
Unless we are “deserving” by virtue of being born. Then what we call “deserving” is simply our birthright.
“Deserving” is a placeholder for other things. (Those things may in fact exist–that’s for another blog post. Or for your comments, you sophisticated thinkers about, and questioners of, money who still, like me, want peaceful & ethical money management and nonprofit fundraising.)
And “deserving” is a gatekeeper: it gives us peace about what we have– or don’t have. It also gives us peace with what others have–or don’t have. ”
This is a false peace.
Peace with Money is Beyond Deserving
If we want peace with money, we have to go beyond “deserving.”
What happens if we stop using the term “deserving?”
What if we made peace with what we have–and what we want?
We would stop justifying ourselves and our dreams based on our financial circumstances.
And we could not justify poverty or hunger or unequal opportunity for others based on their “not deserving.”
The game is up.
Peace with Money is a Gift Beyond Deserving
So, yes, it’s is a play on words, the title of our blog post. Peace with money is a gift beyond deserving:
- It’s a gift you can’t deserve, because deserving doesn’t exist!
- It belongs to you and to all humans. It’s our birthright.
- Once you go beyond notions of deserving, you find peace with money.
What is Beyond Deserving?
Help me, readers:
Once you give up “deserving,” what do you get?
I know one thing from my own experience: I get gratitude for what I have. Gratitude is a key component of peace with resources! And “appreciation is a strategy for having more of what you want.”
I get awareness of what I have. I feel awe.
And I am no less excited about having more and figuring out how to have more of what I want! I just don’t “deserve” it. No lie gets in my way about deserving. There’s a direct, cause-and-effect relationship between what I want and my going after it. I don’t worry whether or not I deserve it.
Does this mean I shed ethics? No way! I realize suddenly that I am the only one responsible for my getting and having in a way that’s ethical. No other justification will do. I don’t deserve any more than anyone else, or any less. It’s all and only about what I determine is right for me to have.
Whew! That’s powerful. What happens when you explore the gifts beyond deserving?