My sweetie says he used to call Valentine’s Day “Halloween II.” I think that’s funny! And reveals a truth: we think we don’t already have love. We think there is something wrong with the way we love. Valentine’s is one of my favorite holidays because it’s all about love, and love is all there is.
I mean: we are made of love. We can’t not love, or have love, or give love. Our only work is to remove the obstacles to love.
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
This may sound easy.
This may sound hard.
How does it sound to you?
Have you tried it?
“Nothing wrong with the way you love.” That’s the message of this post. I received it for myself and for you as I awoke from a dream this morning to write this post.
It can be challenging to remember who we are. In a way, RAISING CLARITY supplies only clarity. We can lead you to water but we can’t make you drink.
Can you drink? Can you let love in?
Thomas A Kempis writing 500 years ago sounds a lot like Rumi speaking 700 years ago about becoming one with love:
For who is there, that approaching humbly a fountain of great sweetness does not carry away some little sweetness?
Or who standing near a great fire, does not receive some small heat from it?
And You are a fountain always full and overflowing; a fire ever burning and never going out.
What is your source of sweetness? Where is your fountain? Can you find your way back to the great fire? Or have you not lost it? (Rumi burned so strongly that one anthology of his in English is called simply, I Want Burning.)
There may be a problem with the way we unlove. But there can be no problem with the way we love.
In my work as a moneycoach, I teach all eight of Deborah L. Price’s archetypes. Five are weak and unhealthy. Three are healthy and strong.* It is so much easier to help people strengthen what’s strong than to chip away at what’s weak! Argh! This approach–chipping away at what we don’t like–is so common. And it works much faster and better to heal the weak parts, in my years of experience.
Let’s agree that what we do well is where we focus.
If what we focus on is what we get more of, let’s focus on what we do well. Let’s do more of it. Let’s love the ways we love.
Do you even know how you love? Have you ever thought about it? How do you love?
Me, I show love through cooking, words, work, shared time, and worrying which I conscientiously turn into prayer because as they say, “if you pray, don’t worry and if you worry, don’t pray.”
I even show this love to myself when I have behaved particularly badly. It helps me take the badness apart and look at it carefully, kindly, quietly and slowly, then heal, which means “become whole,” like the word integrity means “wholeness.”
Sometimes I show love through upset. Finding love in the middle of all those tangled vines of upsetness becomes my focus. Slowing down to take the time to look finds it. It is always there, if I will remove the vines, carefully, kindly, quietly and persistently and then:
Nothing wrong with the ways you love.
*Alongside the healthy archetypes of Warrior, Creator/Artist and Magician, the weakened ones are the Innocent, Victim, Martyr, Tyrant and Fool. If you click on each archetype, you’ll be taken to a post exploring it. Or find the whole series here.