After realizing we could trust a saner power to help us through this process, and choosing which one to trust in–
We made what the 12 Steps call a “moral inventory.” We admitted responsibility for what our addiction to money had done to us. (The 12 Steps don’t make nice: this is called admitting the “exact nature of our wrongs.”)
We got ready to stop what we were doing wrong. (Just being willing to stop is a whole Step unto itself!) Then we allowed the saner power we trusted in to help us stop. (And that gets a whole Step, too.)
Next, we made a list of the people we had harmed through our addiction. (That’s a Step.) And in the next Step, the last one in this series, we did all we knew to do to make amends to them in ways that don’t make things worse.
You can see my list and my plans for amends here. A couple of highlights: I apologized to my child and talked through with her her experience of my addiction. I did this with one of my exes who had suffered perhaps the most from my never being home because of overworking and when home, my not being well, happy and satisfied but only home long enough to get pasted back together to go back out on the road. (She said she didn’t think of this as money addiction but as work-addiction. I got to look deeply at their interconnection in my life.)
All of this has been hard, and profoundly rewarding. I encourage you to continue on this journey with me, or to embark on it and try it for yourself. What you will receive: seeing yourself as separate from the race for money. If you’re a blog reader of ours, you probably want more money in your life. Most of us do. We may call it abundance, and want it as abundance, but we see it most often as money. Who are we when we don’t want or need or even care much about money? Even just for a little while?
That’s the vision of yourself I’m talking about.
At this point, Step 10 seems really easy–it’s ground we have covered:
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
Notice that what was once two Steps *8 and 9) is now combined into one. Maybe this counts as a sign of our maturity in this process; we know how to do this stuff. The hard part now is not knowing how–it’s committing continually to do it as part of our ongoing healing–our recovery from capitalism.
Can we continue to pay attention to the people we harm in our chase for money? The people we run over, and the loss of self? That is the challenge of Step 10. It’s lifelong. And the rewards–myself given back to myself–are also lifelong.